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this girl can’t, not yet

By now you’ve probably seen the This Girl Can film. If not watch it. It has been made by Sport England to celebrate active women up and down the country who are doing their thing no matter how well they do it, how they look or even how red their face gets. One of the sports in the video is a Zumba class, shown to be exciting, energetic, and most of all, fun. It has taken the internet by storm and celebrated for its realism and positive message.

However, I have a tale of the other side, the reality of this, and one that we all really should be getting to the heart of.

Last week I did a Zumba class. Now I’ve done Zumba before, and had a little dance experience, but it had been two years since I’d followed a teacher (or watched myself in the mirror doing it!) so I was basically a beginner. I’d been looking forward to dancing again and spent the first 30 minutes of the hour class loving it. Yes I was uncoordinated, yes I kept messing up, but I was doing it with a massive grin on my face. I was one of the girls on the video.

Then something changed. At the water break the instructor made a beeline directly to me and in front of a class of about 15 women singled me out in front of everyone to tell me that it was ‘ok if I wasn’t getting it, at least I was moving’.

Lets repeat what I just said above, yes I was uncoordinated, yes I kept messing up, but I was doing it with a massive grin on my face. Thanks to some clumsy language from the instructor – that massive grin – was gone. For the next 30 minutes any co-ordination I did have totally disappeared, along any enjoyment of the class I’d been having. There were others in the class just as uncoordinated as me – maybe she thought I could take it as the smile I had on my face looked like confidence. It wasn’t.

So to the ‘This Girl Can’ film – whilst i’ll say well done to them for a highly commendable stance and a fantastic campaign and video – the video does not show how (although it is on the website) that “the fear of judgement is stopping many of us from taking part in exercise. But as thousands of women up and down the country are proving, it really doesn’t have to”.

Yes judgement. Judgement and the confidence to be judged. That’s what really stops people. Not the jiggly bits, not the red face, not the hard work. In any sport, as a beginner, you will be uncoordinated and hopeless at it. To get to the point that the girls are at in the video you have to have confidence in the beginning to show that you are hopeless, and more importantly confidence to be able to expect that the people around you – especially the instructor – will not judge you whilst you try and try and try again. If this happens, then this girl really can.

Mrs S x

EDIT: I just want to point out that despite this incident I am going back to Zumba, as despite one person’s comments, I do really enjoy it – and I deserve to #thisgirlcan

Jamie Oliver’s Comfort Food – Paleo style

Saturday mornings in my house are dedicated to menu planning, and one of my favourite things, pouring over cookbooks. As B and I both do the Paleo diet (80% of the time – we do have breaks) planning what to eat takes a little time – especially when you don’t eat wheat, grains, potatoes, pasta or rice!

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The problem is that there aren’t really many great Paleo recipe books out there – and most:

  • continue the Paleo obsession with creating replacements for foods you no longer eat,
  • fail to provide good carbohydrates to balance your diet. I am all about the balance, I do not want to eat low carb!
  • spend half the book explaining what you can and can’t eat rather than providing you with any recipes. I know what Paleo is, I want to be able to cook and eat it! and,
  • require you to buy a spiralizer or a mason jar (bloody hate the obsession with mason jars)

(Have you read my previous rant about the paleo diet btw?)

So after being burnt a few times, I’ve given up with trying to find specific Paleo recipe books. However, in my cooking endeavours I have found that most normal recipes can actually be made Paleo friendly with very few tweaks. I’ve also got my hands on a few new cookbooks recently I thought I’d combine a little cookbook review series with how to tweak the recipes paleo-style? What do you think? Basically if you are thinking of trying the Paleo diet I hope this will take some of the fear out of what you can and can’t eat and whether the Paleo diet is as boring as it first seems… first up is a book which seems to be everywhere!

Jamie Oliver – Comfort Food

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I loved Jamie Oliver’s cookbooks since Jamie’s Great Britain came out – The Happy Fish Pie is one of my go-to-dishes. I’ve now a small collection which I often turn to when I am looking for something quick and easy, even if they don’t always turn out quite how they look in his book!  Jamie’s newest book, Comfort Food, is a little different to ’15 minute meals’ and the like as the recipes are hugely indulgent  and take a little time to make – how about lobster macaroni anyone?! but if you are looking to spend a few hours relaxing in the kitchen then they are perfect. The book is also gorgeous, my favourite to date, also contains Idris Elbe(!!) and has everything from burgers to Pad Thai.

As its an indulgent selection of recipes, it does contain a lot of paleo banned foods, but why not try…

  • Chicken Tikka Masala  –  use a gluten free stock cube, replace the paratha bread with roasted butternut squash, and If you aren’t eating yogurt, use coconut milk to marinate the chicken.
  • Curried fish pie – replace the potatoes with mashed sweet potato, it won’t look as pretty, but will be still damn tasty, and I use whole milk rather than semi-skimmed.
  • Winter night’s chilli – this is a pretty good paleo recipe, replace the sugar for honey and leave out the chickpeas.

…and If you aren’t on the Paleo diet, the next level steak and onion sandwich is utterly immense…

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 YUMMMMM

If you fancy doing the paleo diet you can follow my paleo recipe boards on pinterest. I am doing a whole 30 as well, this was week 1.

Losing the pounds and keeping the pennies!

Mrs S x

the problem with paleo

As you might remember I have now been doing the Paleo diet for about 4 weeks and whilst I have noticed a difference in my weight (being massively less bloated is the main change) I do have a few issues with it. Forgive me a rant? Just this once? I’ll give you a great recipe if you let me get through this one…

The problem with paleo as I see it is:

  1. Is something paleo or not? Who actually decides? For example the internet is divided on white potato. If the basis for the paleo diet is eating like primal humans, then surely the humble potato, thought to have been domesticated 8000 BCE is ok? Or is not allowed because of health reasons and it is because potatoes are chock full of starch which causes problems with blood sugar levels? Whatever it is I am confused and thinking of re-introducing a good old baked tattie into my diet occasionally, especially when I don’t need much energy (like at night)
  2. Creating replacements for things you aren’t allowed to eat. Cauliflower rice, spaghetti / noodles made with any vegetable that can be spiralized. Some of these things are fine as a way of eating your vegetables (apart from cauliflower rice, which is disgusting) but surely it’s better to get a clean break from old habits and find a new way of eating that doesn’t make you miss rice and pasta even more?
  3. The obsession with adding bacon to every paleo recipe. Bacon is cured by salt. Salt (or sodium) is not that good for you, we all know that. Yes you can buy the good type of bacon – cured with brown sugar and sea-salt – but even making choices doesn’t mean that throwing extra meat into everything you prepare is good for you. You could also replace this with liver which seems to be the next big craze.
  4. Using alternative flours. Coconut? Almond? Do you know how much these cost? They don’t even produce a good cake! The problem with paleo is that you can’t eat any form of flour apart from these, so even gluten free baking is out. This makes me very sad. Just like point 2 ive decided just to eat the things I can eat, not disgustingly soggy patties masquerading as cookies.
  5. Finding a good carbohydrate to balance your diet is hard. My view of a diet is one of balance, so the meat/fish/green vegetables needs to be balanced with some starchy carbohydrates (especially for B who lives a much more active life than me) and sweet potatoes get very boring after a while. The problem is that trying to find other varieties is hard, your local Asda does not stock cassava, taro root, or kohlrabi, for example which pop up as good things to eat on a lot of recipes.
  6. Recipes aren’t tried and tested. This means that they often go wrong, or end up in the bin. Cooking waste of time meals is not high up on my agenda. I end up sticking with recipes that just don’t use rice, pasta, bread… and honestly I haven’t been able to find that many of them and its getting kinda boring….

So what am I eating? Well, this is one of my ‘tried and tested’ paleo recipe successes:

Thai baked sea bass with sweet n sour salad & sweet potato wedges

You will need:

  • Sweet potatoes, I use one large potato each – Chop up the sweet potatoes and bake in the oven for 30 mins at 180 (or until the skins are getting crispy)

For the sweet and sour salad:

  • Cucumber
  • Avocado
  • lettuce
  • tomato
  • salt
  • 2 tablespoons fish sauce (not strictly paleo but you can get clean versions which is just fermented fish and salt)
  • 1 tablespoon lime juice
  • 1 tea spoon sugar (again use brown if you are strict paleo or even raw honey)

Chop up the cucumber into ribbons and salt. Set aside for 10 mins whilst you chop the rest of the ingredients. Mix the fish sauce, lime juice and sugar together and taste for flavouring, the quantities are up to you. Pile up the salad and add the dressing when everything is ready.

For the baked thai sea bass:

baked thai sea bass

  • a fillet of sea bass per person
  • 2 red chillies
  • ginger
  • lemongrass
  • garlic
  • fresh coriander
  • olive oil
  • tin foil

Oil up the foil, pop on the fish, add ginger, lemongrass, garlic & the chilli. Add the fresh coriander and seal up the foil like a bag. Pop in the oven for 10 mins near the end of the cooking time of the potatoes.

thai sea bass and sweet and sour salad

Serve and enjoy!

Mrs S x

I think that’s enough bad luck for a long time

I’m getting close to 800 posts on this little blog of mine. I’ve been writing an average of 13 posts a month, for 5 years. I have been a busy little bee haven’t I? This blog may not receive as many views (or comments) now as it did in the peak year of 2009, when I was going through the period of spilling my guts out whilst going through hell, but I appreciate those of you who pop by each day to keep up with my life. I may not personal blog as much as I used to, but then I am not going through so much hell, so I don’t need to.

Anyways, out of those 800 posts my most commented on post of all time was when I managed to smash a mirror to pieces and panicked about receiving 7 years of bad luck, which at that point in my life I really didn’t need.  I was lamenting:

“two houses, one ex husband, and one ex long term boyfriend, plus lots of ex-friends; I think that’s enough bad luck for a long time, don’t you?”

and

“if you think it will happen, then it will; if you think you are going to break up, then you will break up”

The post generated a great discussion about whether positive thinking really does work or not. An actual friend was commenting too, so much of the discussion ended up being about my personality, which I admit I did not take too well at the time. Foresight? Hindsight? A fantastic thing. I still very much believe the second point above, but I did not realise that I was doing the pushing away. I was causing the bad luck, the bad friendships; I was walking away from relationships. I was not happy with where or who I was.

My life is not about law of attraction: I don’t have friends for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I have friends because they like me and I like them and most importantly I like myself around them. I may have a wobble occasionally (usually these days because of twitter’s blue lines making me feel lonely as I watch people organise meet ups without me) but in general I am hugely more comfortable with myself and where my life is at than I have ever been.

Whether it has been because of marrying B, or finding my bro, or becoming closer to my sister, or my sister in law, or basically because I’ve got over myself, I am not actually sure when the change happened, but I’ve stopped chasing something that I don’t actually want. I might still get jealous of other people’s lives but I don’t want their life. Mine is pretty darn good….and I didn’t get 7 years of bad luck. Phew.

Mrs S x

Paris, France, London town. NYC, boring. Nothing thrills us.

I’m a walking cliché. I love Louboutins and I’ve wanted a Balenciaga as long as I can remember (although I don’t like Mulberry). I’ve jumped on the Peter Pan collar bandwagon (even though I said I hated them). My makeup and beauty comes via Glossybox and Birchbox (and I always peek at the previews). My house is full of mid-century modern and up cycled furniture (that still smells of grannies, just a little bit).

So where am I going with this?

Everything that has made me into this person has comes from the internet. I’m an internet cliché. I blame the internet whole heartedly into making me into this clone. Where did I first spot Louboutins? The internet. Where did Peter pan collars come from? So many bloggers. There wouldn’t be a company like Birchbox who send you Yardley samples without this monitor driven word of ours.

I don’t want to be like everyone else. I don’t want to desire expensive products and home wares and giving everything in my life (including myself) a fresh coat of paint because a blogger told me to or to eat at frankly over priced hipster joints when I much prefer an old man’s pub and half a bitter. A blow dry at the hairdressers is a pointless waste of time. I am going to constantly swing between one dress size to another as well, I love pizza (and the aforementioned beer).

(Although my Louboutins? MINE)

Ahem.

(However, if a sexy giveaway of a 5 star freebie came my way, well, of course I’d jump at the chance to go/host/brag about it. If the free stuff was good enough, well, you would too. Plus who says they should be reserved for acid tongued restaurant reviewers who only really review in the last paragraph. Actually I like that form of review, not the simpering cleavage leaden shots that some bloggers now give us. Bloggers who do get free stuff? Feel free to carry on but please give me something intellectual to read)

I guess what I am saying is that blogging has become boring… I like normal people. Realistic people with real up and down lives. I like to read about them. Have them influence me. Not some fake lifestyle on the internet.  I am bored of the same old same old. I am bored of everyone coveting and blogging the same curated Instagrammed and pinned to death life.

(even though I do it too)

When did we all stop spewing our guts out and replace it with a pretty misrepresentations of the weekend mostly spent in our pyjamas?  I’ve realised that away from the blogging world i’ve become a walking talking cliche. When did I allow the super blogger become the curator of my life? Well, I’m going back to being it. Pronto.

Mrs S x