In which I whisper, don’t sing
Whilst Misswolfi and I were shopping for wedding dresses last weekend we had a frank conversation about my career. Compared to some of my contemporaries I have played it a little safe, R, as only a best friend can, was scolding me gently about this. In essense, she told me I hold myself back, that I won’t get anywhere if I don’t stop being so self-depreciating. That I need to start singing my own praises a little more.
It made me think – do I?
I didn’t think so, but then I had never really thought it was an issue either.
As a child, I was encouraged to get good grades, but never to sing about them. If I did well, well, then it was smiles all round, if not then it was good enough. Failure wasn’t a bad thing either; it just meant that you were better at something else. But success, well, then you had to think about all the things you couldn’t do and work on them too. No one was, is, good or bad at everything. All you could do was to try.
Hard work is important. Work hard and however well you achieve you will always get respect for it. Be a grafter. But don’t sing and shout about working hard either; I could shout that for the last two years I have worked full time whilst completing a master’s degree. But honestly, people run countries, families, 2 jobs and do much more than I did these last 2 years, sometimes I struggle to run my life and keep my health whilst working this hard.
My mum (the adopted one) jokes that she can relay my achievements (the big ones, not me getting out of bed every day) to her friends with pride because I wasn’t hers. She can bask in the glory of my master’s degree because she didn’t make me. I can understand what she means – she is able to bask in reflective glory, but not say ‘She did this, she did this because of me.’ it takes the smugness away, but leaves the pride behind
So for R (and my mum who has already told everyone) I am going to tell you something. In two weeks time I am going to an awards ceremony. An awards ceremony where a piece of work I project managed, wrote and delivered is up for a national award.
I am proud and I am allowed to be. Now wish me luck and someone please tell me what to wear!
Miss S x
Congratulations! I feel quite similar, but in the last two years I had to learn to market myself better. I still feel uncomfortable doing it, but doesn’t it feel great when people tell you how awesome you are (professionally)? I’ve been told a few times in the past couple of months by different people and I think I start believing it. Hope you do, too you truly are a great person and deserve all the praise in the world!
Kasia´s last [type] ..Seven year itch
I guess I am not used to people praising me ever, this is so nice though :)
congratulations! I sing this song to my son every time he does something he should be proud of (the words are silly, it’s just “I’m proud of you, I’m proud of you, I hope that you are proud of you too”) because I want to stress that yes, I am proud, but what really matters is that he is taking pride in his own work. I grew up trying to make everyone else happy and proud, and now I’m grown up and have a really hard time being proud of the things I do and happy with things the way they are. It’s sad.
I’m proud of you. I’m glad that you are proud of you too.
Lora´s last [type] ..supper
Love that song. I think we are ashamed sometimes to admit pride in our work because we never want to shout about ourselves for the fear of been beaten down by others.
Selling yourself is really hard work and singing your praises is even harder. Few people know I have recently been promoted, not that many know I completed my batchelors degree while working full time because it’s just tough to be British and promote. Americans are great at it and i think we should take a leaf out of their book.
Massively well done on your acheivements, glad that you have told the world because you know what, you deserve to be praised for how hard you have worked and how well you have done.
Pride – because you’re worth it!
Congrats on all your achievements too hon xx